Kanini defies me

Before I release my picture I must tell you that I have been watching the calender very often after I moved in with Kanini. Ever since the legalisation of all come-we-stay relationships that had lasted for at least 6 months as legal marriages, all women here in Maili Kumi have been a nuisance. I have witnessed this and some go to the extent of hosting big ceremonies in the mans house without his consent or awareness to celebrate these “marriages”. This is not my worry, however, but I should anticipate to happen anyway.

I am watching for the date the new president is going to be sworn in because I am not optimistic of surviving long enough after this process. Here in Maili Kumi there was a big misunderstanding about the Biometric Voter Registration process and most of the people were skeptic on registering to be a voter in this entirely new process.

“We are not fools anymore the government is trying to track us and watch our lives” baba Marlon said in the bar.

“This president Kibaki is taking our DNA, blood type, eye, where we are going to be born and where we are going to die….I do not like this at all and I am not going to be bought” retorted my friend Banda. 

“The electoral commission is going to use computers to save this information then the new constitution will protect us if this privacy is infringed and used without our will” Anyago, the attendant, said when Banda ordered for more beer for me. She is a very knowledgeable girl who came form the city to visit her parents, owners of the bar.

Logically, it would have been very shameful and threatening to my status if she would have continued. I am the only person who has the most education in computers in Maili Kumi so everyone waited for me to say something.

“It is false we are our own defense. I have used a lot of computer software in my life like mother board, toshiba, keyboard, password, Microsoft word and antivirus and all of them made people to be manipulated, we shall not allow this here.” I immediately made my firm contribution and everyone cheered me as I gasped to my last breath.

I am glad to be the last resort for the people in Maili Kumi but this time it was different. My wife Kanini lead a different crew to go to register and this was against everything that we had agreed as men in the bar. I had gone to the bar with Banda around 9am not but found nobody there. We made sure we had passed through Kibogoyo market in Maili Kumi.

On the morning of registration the electoral officer send me a text saying that I was needed to come and assist with the laptops because they could not come on. I wondered even whether there were people there to register but I bought  a drink for Banda and left. When I got there I found long lines of villagers waiting to register and in front on the line was Kanini. She had mobilised them I later learned. The problem was that the officers had not connected the power source to the computers, this had caused a delay. I helped them do it, then they realised they had forgotten their passwords. I had to call electoral commission offices in Nairobi, to assist with the password. I also had to assist with the registration to all of the illiterate voters, of which there were many.

Even though I was angry at Kanini, I was more angry at Issac Hassan, the chairman, for employing workers who could not even put on a computer and did not know how to use google to register the voters. I went home to my root soup because I had also given off my information to the government and I needed to relax and enjoy life while it lasts.
Kisongo

My parents plot to kick me out of their house

 

I was just about to continue to update you on my plan with Raila Amolo Odinga when I remembered that I did not introduce myself to you according to the African customs. If I were doing this to my grandfather I promise that this rude behavior would not have allowed me to survive this long, also partly because I have not bought him a good cup of Mursik for a long time now. I am not planning to give you my picture yet but I would love to use your imagination to keep you glued.

I am the most handsome guy in Maili Kumi and also the most intelligent and reputable too. I dress decently with a checked jacket and some khaki green shorts. Many people always have their eyes on me when i walk to the market and I am sure I have the appeal to just make the whole country to vote for me in an election. This is one of the reasons why my wife Kanini quarells with me in these days of the election. She is afraid that Raila might win the court case and chose me to join him as a running mate then all eyes will be on me.

I do not blame her. I blame myself.

Before I met Kanini I had been looking for a wife for a long time and during this time I was staying in baba Marlon’s house, my father. My parents had tried to push me out for a long time but they had not succeeded. I was even paid to be having Saturday tutorials despite my deep level of knowledge. This was not successful because Mutula Kilonzo, then the minister of education, made it illegal to have these tutorials and again I was back home. I used to have an eye on Nyambura the beauty queen of the village. I hope Kanini never finds this out because I even had plans of marrying her. Don’t tell.

Back home I used to go to the market in Kibogyo still in Maili Kumi and assemble the children there and teach them a lesson of science all day long. I did not allow lunch breaks just short breaks to the toilet and back. My interest in Chemistry started long back. The kids there did not like me only Kweku who was a brother to Kanini and a family friend that I did not know of. I promised him and used him as an example of the only students there who would succeed and become like me.

I never brag. This is why I went to Kweku’s home frequently to update his parents on his development. My parents somehow found out that I had an “eye for Kanini“. I never understood that expression and worse still I had never seen any Kanini in Maili Kumi. They also found my letters that I wrote to Nyambura but never sent to her but they thought these were meant for Kanini. I did not know how they even understood what I had written because they could not even read and write themselves. I guess this goes beyond just “Love is Blind”.

“Kisongo, we are going to have a family reunion at mama Kanini’s house and then we will let you sleep over” baba Marlon remarked one evening.

I was disillusioned because I did not know what was going on and I understood well enough that my father never takes questions. I just followed that night but I decided to head to the latrine when we got to Kweku’s house. When I was heading back to the main house I overhead a discussion;

“Us visiting this day is to give off Kisongo to your daughter. He is clung to us like a child we would do anything to give him off.” Baba Marlon said.

“Ok we will make Kanini serve him and then we will leave them alone” Kofi, Kanini’s father said.

That is when I learned that Kanini lived here and also that she had been brought form the village miles away for this give off. I got into the house and they all walked out leaving me on the couch and a young thin lady entered, introduced herself, and served me. Kanini  is beautiful but nothing close to Nyambura. I mean “You can tell a ripe corn by its look”. I hope Kanini never knows this. I am not a man of many words and surely this time round I had managed to get a girl to like me without saying much. I guess my few words were too sweet that any addition would have probably spoiled the broth. This is one of those reasons I ended up as a doctor and not as the president of Kenya, drinking root soup every night. Also, this marked the success of leaving my parents house because it is abomination to live with your wife in your parents house.

Kisongo

Raila Odinga owes me

My name is Kisongo and I am a doctor by profession but since I dropped out of school in form 3 some illiterate people of Maili Kumi are in the liking of calling me a witch doctor. I have frequently told them that I know chemistry inside out and up side down from H to O (water) to the complex microorganisms. I use bones and blood to foretell the future and I have a good reputation in my village. I always tell my 5 daughters and 10 sons to work hard to succeed like me but they also do not listen to me, same with Raila Odinga.

One week before the elections I threw my bones to the ground and did my experiments and prescribed that Raila Amolo Odinga was not going to win. These are deep forces that talked to me and because I was very concerned about the country and Raila I decided to have an interaction with him. Raila listened to me but his running mate Kalonzo Musyoka thought I was going to overthrow him as Raila’s right hand man.

I only eat, breath and sleep with my chemicals and nothing else matters to me.

So Raila sent me a text message and said he wanted to meet me urgently. Without hesitation I packed my few belongings in my polythene bag and off I went to the city. I have never boarded a bus for that long but because I was trying to save the most important man in the country this did not matter to me. I dropped out in Nairobi city and I was overwhelmed so I ran as I was directed by Raila to find where he would be.

He was very sad when I first saw him and immediately my expertise told me that there was something wrong with him. I was blocked by these policemen who touched me all over without respect and put all my belongings aside. I was very angry because they neglected my status and also because they did not do the same to Raila.

I sat next to the prime minister and he seemed as if he had depression. I immediately told him that I could tell my wife Kanini to come to the city and make him root soup to calm his nerves and that she was also an excellent cook. He declined my help and as soon as he did this he seemed to have gained some confidence. I was not paying for the food so I made sure to get the most expensive thing and that was cowpeas, njahe, chapati and beans. I did not forget a cup of milk as the dessert. I was a star!

“Kisongo, I will not be needing you anymore and I want you to forget that we ever met” Raila said

“Let us finish eating then we will reach an understanding ” I hesitated. But all this fell into deaf ears.

So I packed the plate and cutlery and off I walked back to Maili Kumi. I did not even go back to work after I arrived because it took me 9 days to get home and I was tired so I slept. I woke up the next morning at noon to go and wait for the morning newspapers to get to Kamau’s shop. Then all hell broke lose the prime minister was loosing. I then heard him on my walkman saying “some deep forces within IEBC did not allow him to win”.

I was angry and I knew that I would have helped and probably now i would have been the next vice president of Kenya. He had lost and really he looked jobless and miserable. I told Kanini to prepare some root soup for me and I went to bed. I just hope Raila is reading this. (To be continued)

kisongo

Inescapable challenges for Kenya’s new leader

The Importance of History has been highlighted for many years in classrooms, and in the many languages that we poses as a people of Kenya. Clearly more than the presidency, this is the greatest challenge that Kenyan President elect Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta faces. I understand that It will be unfair for me to underpin his glory and reduce his personality to that of  50 years ago. But the heroes were not heroes before they became heroes.

History tells us that after complete independence from the British Jomo Kenyatta, Uhuru Kenyatta’s father, was a very generous distributor of the land that was left back by the British to the political class. He surely did extend his generosity to himself and now the families greatest asset is land and Uhuru Kenyatta is now the richest man in Kenya, according to the forbes magazine.  One of the greatest issues in the land now is to implement the land reforms as the new constitution requires and this will mean that, all land that was acquired in this means should be given back to state and redistributed.

Some might say that this is not a problem of his but that of his father, I do not dispute both sides of the coin. In addition to the coin metaphor I need a president who is not immune to the rule of law. He is to implement these reforms and he is to abide by them. This was to be the challenge of the new presidency because the past has failed to see this through. Fate chose him and fate has to take course in accordance with the law. However, this is not all just hold onto your seats, and put your heads on a swivel because they’ll spin.

The presidency of Uhuru is under investigation as his opponent Raila Odinga of Cord coalition bluntly puts it. He claims that deep in the forces of the failure of the electronic voting system lay powers that favoured Uhuru to win. This is yet to be ruled by the High Court of Kenya. As a close competitor I would be worried as well but we seem no to be digesting the news properly. The new electoral commission is completely independent from the government and this failure can be called by its name, failure. Instead of being named a ‘ghost project’. It also seems to me when we are dealing with such deep powers we need spiritual intervention rather than the court of law. This expresses my view point on this case though I have to admit that I do not know what evidence Hon. Raila has on his hands but it has to go beyond the metaphors and has to be really convincing. It will be too soon to count the chickens before they hatch for the new leader.

This is yet to be decided in the court of law of Kenya.

But we cannot mention courts without trying to grapple with the fact that Uhuru and his running mate William Ruto have been indicted by the International criminal court (ICC) for crimes against humanity during the 2007 elections. This is just one too many issues for a new president and he is to appear before the court in July. Turns out that he will be leading a 40million people country, with 40% unemployment levels and a very commendable economic growth in courts. This was surely not his time and we may wonder how he managed to be one of the candidates and pushed his way through to win. Kenya has an integrity commission and all institutions that a democracy needs. That remains to be another topic to be scrutinized later. What I know is that this is another failure this new president ought to correct.

As mind spinning as it is he has no choice but to abide and yet still charm us by leaving us with a brand new legacy of our time. He has to keep the torch burning and continue with the pat attraction of foreign direct investment and maintain beautiful Kenya’s pride. Do not be deceived however, every statesman in every nation state has his challenges.

Genuine Art Masterpiece: Attribute to CNN

Suprise! Am Sorry

I know what you thought,
You'd find me soaked in tears,
I know what you expected,
I' d be broken and afraid,
Am sorry to say, am stronger now than then.

I wonder if my pain is your joy,
If it is am so sorry to disappoint,
My third name is now strength,
You'll be surprised, how much I have grown,
Am sorry, since you left, I turned out perfect.

I know you've been talking, so have been my friends,
Am not a survivor, am a liver to the end,
Try your best to put me down, but I ain't dead,
I guess you are choking now, from your own surprise,
Am sorry I didn't turn out, to be what you wanted.

It feels good to rub it in your face,
It feels great, to shove it down your throat,
It feels just perfect, to be a pain in your neck,
Am sorry, I did not turn out a failure.

By Orawo Olave (Attribute to the CNN after misreporting of widespread violence in Kenya on the first day of elections labeling it as "Kenyan deadly start")

Uhuru Kenyatta is a “common” man

This is a case pulling evidence to whether Hon. Uhuru Kenyatta the former minister of finance is indeed a “common” man as is thought in the public domain. I intend to lure you to the thought that even if he was in real life, that would either still be in a dream or an illusion of the dream. The evidence to my statements were first hand information obtained from the minister before during and after the Kenyan presidential debate. I do not intend to make you believe me  but I need you to agree with me and nothing else matters.

Uhuru Kenyatta, the deputy prime minister is the richest man in Kenya and he is the 26th richest in Africa as the forbes magazine states. If this is the “common” or in other terms the average mwananchi, then Kenya really is more than just a first world developed country. In fact we sure deserve a new rank far away from the bragging so called developed world. His source of wealth is land and this is primed to be at least 500,000 acres of land. This is the same country where we have reports of up to 400,000 internally displaced persons. Ideally he could offer them land and save 100,000 acres. Indeed he is a common man.

He is the leader who is at the forefront claiming to be speaking on behalf of the common mwananchi and he echoed that he wants resources to distributed equally. He is also campaigning on the ideal of his enormous ability to understand the common man. He does not in any way look uncommon. Kenya is not this world and cannot accommodate one person acquiring this large amounts of wealth just to himself and family. I do not in any way dispute his claim that he got this land from “willing seller, willing buyer basis” only because I do not have evidence to prove a negative.

There is no way to dispute the fact that “Kenya is bigger than all of us” as Peter Kenneth reiterated in the debate. The thing is with high levels of poverty, 40% of the people being unemployed, many working in the informal sector (of those employed) and the 20 year disappointment of schooling only to fail to get employed based on your ethnic background, there is a mismatch between who should be the common man. Uhuru is in Business and has large shares in K24 and commercial bank of Kenya. He is also a politician and this job is the highest paying job among equals all over the world. This is not common but then again maybe I am wrong.

Maybe it is just that these mosquitoes keep buzzing and to add up my poverty is extreme that I cannot even afford sleep. I will not forget to replace the candles and insecticide that I have run out of as my privileged source of light and energy in these thought provoking times. This compost here in Dandora slums likes to attract insects often. My stomach churns but that is not a problem of mine. I live to eat the fruits of my labour one day or else I could ponder on the fact my neighbors live in worse conditions than mine and there is nothing common with that.